Monthly Archives: July 2026

Memories of One Unfinished Much Loved Child of God

Chapter One

New Orleans, the French quarter, born in the heart of Dixie Land Music.  Want to have “When the Saints Go Marching In” played as people leave my funeral.  Shrimp Creole, French baguettes, and Eggs Benedict still on my favorites list.

Memories, when still in a crib around the age of three, looking out the window of the Pontalba Apartments on Jackson Square and seeing my parents walking away under the street lights. Feeling terrified, not knowing the doors between the next apartment were open so they could listen if I cried.

Early criminal instinct killed when Mom found a toy watch I stole from my friend’s house. The spanking wasn’t so bad but returning it along with my favorite doll did the trick.

 Still remember the music and excitement of sitting on my dad’s shoulders catching beads thrown from the Mardi Gras floats.

 Happy times sailing my sailboat on a long narrow pond. It always capsized before reaching the end. But I could not be consoled at five when we were moving to St. Louis on a train, so we sailed it out into the dark waters of Lake Pontchartrain. I didn’t care if it would make some other child happy when they found it. 

But I have good memories of return trips to visit dad’s family and as an adult revisiting the Quarter including Pat O’Brien’s Bar and going to the large cathedral looking Catholic Church near Tulane that my grandfather built.

On one return trip as an adult, I was standing on Bourbon Street in the Quarter at night. This was some years after my conversion to a relationship with Jesus as the expression of God’s unconditional love, rather than a particular religion. I stood there enjoying watching very varied people and places. On the corner was a crowded bar open to the street with loud jazz flooding the area. Next to it were some transvestites in beautiful gowns on a balcony inviting people in for a show.  In front of that building there was a preacher giving out religious tracts and urging people to repent. Next to him were some small black boys dancing for coins.  On the opposite corner at a safe distance was a group of tourists sort of glued to each other for safety, suggesting maybe a group of Baptist Sunday school teachers in New Orleans for a convention. A steady mix of very varied people poured down the middle of the street. There were solid looking tourists in Bermuda shorts with cameras hanging around their necks, college students carrying Pat O‘Brien’s Hurricane glasses. and even a couple of priests coming through from St. Louis Cathedral on Jackson Square. I experienced a strong and wonderful sense of being part of God’s motley crew; all of us loved just as we were.

Born Needy, Becoming Loving: The Spiritual Journey.

OK, if you know me at all, you know that the pattern of the life and spiritual growth of Jesus is central to my belief in God and the spiritual journey from need to Love. But I do not see babies as born evil, but just naturally dependent and needy, because they are unfinished.                                                                                       I see humanity as vulnerable beings whose fears send them after the illusion of safety power gives us or the escape from fear that pleasure gives us.. We are not evil and fallen at birth because Eve and Adam wanted to be equal to God for power and safety, instead of learning goodness, wisdom, and the freedom of being able to love others more than themselves. We are born unfinished in every way, and our lives are a spiritual journey aimed at the freedom to become loving as Jesus did And the Spirit of God is in us just as it was in Jesus. The potential is there within, but this is not heaven. And we are not all dealt the same hand at birth, and our lives vary drastically in how they can cripple us. Even the rich can be crippled from birth from lack of love and being taught that power is the answer to life. But so can the poor. We are born with the innate potential to grow loving, but life can cripple us early on. And even our heroes can give in to human neediness. Think of Martin Luther King, Jr. who had affairs, JFK who had affairs, Ghandi who was a lousy husband. A lot of the most charismatic pastors and preachers and teachers fail the same way. Think about it. They are idolized by the crowds but known by their spouses as the fallible unfinished humans they are. Their vulnerability and neediness often overwhelm them. I’m not excusing this, I’m understanding this. Each of us is unfinished and vulnerable in different ways.
Humans seek the illusion of safety in different ways and as Christians we may manage to play by the minimum of the ten commandments but fail to see the beatitudes as the WAY of Jesus who was a turning point for humanity. The key to Jesus is seeing His WAY of spiritual growth as our way. And seeing Jesus as the flesh and blood expression of both God’s Love and the pattern for our own spiritual journey to forgiving and loving. Recognizing the Love of God expressed for every single human and accepting it with mind, heart, and soul is life changing. And a relationship with the person fleshing out that love is at some point in our lives is grace to live that out ourselves. It can come earlier for those of us whose inborn personalities focus us on relationship.

My Sermon from the Molehill

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      “Come to me, all of you that are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11: 28-30

What is the limiting yoke or burden for each of us at this time now in our life?                                                                     

At 89 with Alzheimer’s, my limits are becoming legion and my most recent new burden has been loneliness.  But I have discovered that by accepting the new limits of each stage of our lives we can, with grace, find new sources of peace and even joy.  As an extravert, moving to Memphis where I had no friends and living with family who worked most of the time left me alone and lonely. While loneliness has made me really appreciate my friends here when I come back to Dickson for three months, it has also taught me to find grace in solitude, a very new experience for me. So, this challenge has become a gift in this part of my spiritual journey. I have found that each stage of life involves a letting go. Our times right now are challenging us to recognize not only our own limits, but those of humanity .The vulnerability of human limits, as both individuals and as humanity, is scary.  And Greed, power, anger, and addiction to pleasure are easier to live with than fear. Fear is actually the root of evil! Faith is the gift that can give us hope enough to face our fears. Though Faith is a gift, we have to let go of our personal way of escaping fear. It’s like being part of a trapeze act and having that moment of letting go to get across the void to safety.                                                                                                      The good news is that Hope based on faith can free us to love as Jesus loved. He understood that fear motivated his enemies. This understanding freed him to not only forgive, but to love them. He even trusted the Love of God when he felt that God had forsaken Him. Let that sink in! Jesus himself felt forsaken by God, but chose to trust. And two thousand years later, His enemies then are long dead, but Jesus lives on in us.  We are a called and chosen people! And right now, we are all being called to forgive like Jesus. When we choose to trust God, the Spirit that freed Jesus will free us from fear and enable us to forgive and love even our enemies.  This is our call. Are we responding to it?                                                                    Let us pray now for grace: “Lord we are frightened children of all ages in a world that seems to be spiraling out of control. But the times when Jesus walked this earth were the same for His people then. Give us the gift of faith to trust your love as Jesus did. Help us open our hearts and minds to the grace of your Love so we can pass it on, even to those we fear.”                                                          

Is this your new site? Log in to activate admin features and dismiss this message
Log In