EASTERis About a Guy Who Used His Power For Instead of Against.
Look at the big picture! The mystics of all religions say the same thing. We are One. Jesus warned his best buds, “Whatever you do to those you consider least, you do to me.” We are all part of one whole. Jesus grew from tribalism , his people were God’s only people, to universal love. From thinking he only came for the Jews to, “Go teach all nations.” Jesus grew from violence against the money changers to loving his enemies, even those that tortured and killed him, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” Jesus grew from doubt to acceptance, “My God why have you forsaken me!” to “Into your hands I put my spirit.” Aren’t these part of any spiritual journey? I’m in a class at my church where we discussed whether our faith would be shattered if the provable bones of Jesus were found. Mine wouldn’t, because I have experienced the presence of Jesus and his overwhelming love that gave me incredible joy even though I was in excruciating physical pain. While praising God with joy though still in pain, I fell asleep and when I awoke, I was healed. Jesus is my way. In my fifty years of a relationship with Jesus I have experienced numerous miracles of answered prayer mixed with times of great heartbreak in between. I have experienced forgiveness and love beyond understanding. I have experienced the presence of Jesus several times. But as I have grown in my spiritual journey there have been changes in both my understanding and in my faith. Times of pain unhealed and my mother’s dying by inches for fourteen years with Alzheimer’s have challenged me to trust without seeing. But I can also look back to my years of agnosticism and see the footprints of God. There are people obviously filled with the spirit of God who do not experience Jesus as savior, like Mahatma Gandhi. But he not only valued Jesus, he actually followed his way. To me if someone follows God’s way that was fleshed out in Jesus, they have let him be Lord, which is a lot harder than accepting him as Savior. I personally was very needy and I needed to experience Jesus as Savior, for the grace to grow into letting him be Lord. I’m still here at eighty-four perhaps to share my journey, but probably to grow better at letting him be Lord. I’m old, but God isn’t finished with me yet. The spiritual journey, whether with Jesus or not, is the same. None of us know the whole truth, nothing but the truth. That would make us equal to God! We all have some of the pieces to the puzzle. It’s tragic that we can’t put them together. The Jewish prophet, Micah, says: “What does God require of us? To do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.” Many agnostics do justice. Many believers love kindness. Some of each do both. But all of us have trouble with the walking humbly part.
The Wondering of Memories
I treasure the memory of my child-self’s favorite escape from our cramped seventh floor apartment, Sunday evenings’ outings to a majestic three-tiered fountain amid flower filled terraces surrounded by groves of the stately trees of Forest Park
It’s the soft edge of the evening as I run ahead to the flowing layered fountain. The breeze sprinkles fairy mists on my happy face and thirsty heart. I pause to listen with delight to the gentle staccato of the tiny splashes of the falling droplets. I watch mesmerized as the silent pool swallows them with quicksilver circles of welcome. In the faded light of dusk, they have become one with its dark mystery. I wonder if dying is like this, just melting into a vast welcoming ocean of love?
Did Jesus Mean to Start a Spiritual Country Club?
What does God actually require of us?
“He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you? To do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8
To me this is the essence of both the Jewish and Christian call of faith. The key to the first two is the third: to walk humbly with your God.
That requires recognizing how very limited our knowledge, understanding, and ability to love unconditionally are. So, we moment by moment, like a child crossing a busy street with their parent, prayerfully hold God’s hand. I do that by reading the Scriptures prayerfully every day, just like letters from God. Then when life challenges me, the words I need will come to mind as both guidance and grace.
This may shock my friends, but I do not think we have to officially be Christians to walk with God. When searching for God in my twenties, I read the original teachings of those that started other religions. They all say in one way or another, we are all one. What we do to anyone, effects all. Jesus told his disciples, “What you do to others, you do to me.” That’s saying the same thing in spades when you think about how much his disciples loved and depended on him.
Think about how many billions of human being have walked this earth. God created them all. Jesus calls God our “daddy.” What parent would doom most of his children for eternity?
Jesus said that he was the way to God. How? By fleshing out the unconditional Love of God. Then by showing us that his way of being a child of God went from loving the “chosen” people of God, to loving all people. Then he progressed from calling us to love one another as we love ourselves to loving one another as he loves us!
Sharing the love of God expressed in Jesus is costly, friends. And it requires realizing with our whole heart and mind that we are imperfect and unfinished and without the love of God we will not become able to love as God and Jesus loves us.
Jesus is my way of experiencing the love and friendship of God. He doesn’t seem to be everyone’s. But I personally need a friendship with a human being that “got it” and through the spirit of God within him walked with God and grew in love and understanding enough to forgive those who killed him.
I have sensed his actual presence and even experienced healing in times of great physical pain, in times of debilitating emotional pain, and in times of despair. I have experienced that overwhelming mind blowing love when I have faced and experienced the sorrow of having hurt others. I have experienced answered prayer that was so instantaneous and amazing that no amount of human doubt could deny the presence, love, and active involvement of God in our lives. At other times, such as my mother’s fourteen years of dying by inches with Alzheimer’s, I could not understand why he didn’t answer my prayer, but I was given signs to trust that “Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal” and that someday I will understand.
We are all different. So, God’s activity and way of reaching and teaching us will differ. And as we grow in our spiritual journey it will change for each of us. Change is scary, so often we resist it. There is no blueprint for personal journeys.
We cannot judge others and we can’t even judge ourselves. Humans are born as complex beings with different gifts and limits and ways of being in the world. And the world wounds us in different and sometimes unrecognized ways. But when we are freed to be humble by knowing with heart and mind that we are loved just as we are, we can be healed and freed by the forgiveness Jesus expressed for all of us.
Jesus is my way, because I’ve experienced the healing, freeing love of God through him and recognized the way he grew and changed and became Love through God’s Love.
I will fall short of the glory of God’s Love today and many tomorrows, but I am forgiven before I do, and when I recognize that and accept the forgiveness and Love, I will grow a tiny inch closer to walking Jesus’ Way.
Reason and Faith: Two Sides of the Same Coin
Reason and faith are two sides of the same coin. Reason stretches our minds and faith stretches our hearts. And both come from God. It’s not either/or. It’s both dancing together, a paradox. The trick is not limiting our faith by reason and not limiting our reason by faith. Since God gave us both, when we are open to God through both, there’s not a conflict. Just don’t make scripture or science into a God. They are ways to God, but not God. And if we think that we know the truth, all the truth, and nothing but the truth, we are claiming to be equal to God. And whether we base that on science or scripture, it is hubris. And we are called to walk humbly with God.
Demonizing our Enemies
I am an admirer of Rabbi Rami Shapiro’s understanding of humanity and religion. What he wrote on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is appropriate for our political divisions here. He gathered signatures from rabbis and imams in the Nashville area on the following:
“We, the undersigned, do not share a common vision for the Middle East. We do not agree politically, religiously, theologically, or philosophically. We are on different sides of a many-sided conflict that threatens the physical, emotional, and spiritual well being of all of us. What we do share, however, is a deep concern that our differences not alienate us from one another. When dealing with the complexities and competing narratives surrounding the conflict, it is all too easy for us to demonize “the other,” whether that “other” be a Muslim, Christian, or Jew. …………We are not writing to propose a solution to our differences, but to stand together against the demonization of those who propose solutions to which we are opposed. Passion for one view is no excuse for lack of compassion for those who hold very different views……………We can decry the rhetoric and actions of one side or the other without demonizing all Jews, Muslims, Christians, Arabs, Israelis or Palestinians. We may never find common ground, but we can stand together against the tendency within ourselves and our respective communities to deny the humanity of the other and in so doing lose our own humanity as well.”
Christians listen to these words. If Jewish and Muslim Americans can see the difference between disagreeing and demonizing and commit to avoiding the latter, can’t we who call Jesus, Lord, do the same. Pray for the grace to love those you consider your enemies as Jesus commanded all his followers to do. Jesus traded hate and power for Love. He calls us to do the same.
My Journey
What Did I Want to be When I Grew Up
I wanted to be loved. That seemed like enough. I know. I know. Need is not love. And yes, I was a bottomless pit of needs and wants. And now, I know no one can fill all of anyone’s needs, never-the-less wants. But my husband of sixty years tried his best, because he loved me. And the greatest gift he gave me was in his last years when he was very ill. He needed me. And with the grace of God, I learned to love.
The Fruit of Love
Feeling the tender softness of the gift beneath the golden skin, then tasting that moist sweetness and savoring its delight is exquisite pleasure. But cherishing the one we love more than our own ecstasy frees love to flow though us until we melt together now as one. And suddenly, we find ourselves at one with all God’s Glory.
My Sign of Hope
I’m breathless from struggling up the hill. A rope dangles before me, taunting, tempting, “You’re too old. Eighty-four is ancient. Your shoulder hurts. Your memory leaks. You’re worn out from the effort it takes to just keep on. Where will it get you? You’re not going to climb me, old woman.”
My shoulders slump. I know I can’t climb this rope. I stare at it and sigh. Maybe it could be a noose. I tie it in a loop. Why not give up? Who am I now? Why am I? Invisible, unheard, trapped in the ugly faded soundproof coffin of old age.
As I stare into the cloudy sky a memory comes. Swinging, floating long ago. Starting slow, swinging low, but keeping on until I touched the sky. I laugh and stretch the loop into a swing. Here I go. Starting slow. I feel a breeze teasing my hair. Climbing higher. Spirits lifting. A sunburst ignites a field of golden daffodils below. Daffodils, my sign of Hope.
What Do I Want Now?
I hunger to discover the inner silent me, the self that doesn’t dance for applause. I long to free my torn and scattered self from being tossed helplessly by the winds of constant irresistible distractions. To recognize and accept my new limits and be grateful for the graces freely given by the God who knew me then and now. I need so desperately to be silent, open, focused on listening to find my center where hope and the God of Love live.
Deep Listening
Everything is God’s Music The Reveille of my morning coffee The Silent Night of snowdrifts and stars The morning Medley of gold and violet flowers The Love Songs and personalities of birds at feeders The exuberant Ode to Joy of my youngest two great-grandchildren The Arpeggio of love of four sons, a daughter, spouses and their children The Just as I Am courage and perseverance of grandchildren with challenges The Symphony of classes that feed my hunger for understanding of life and humanity The Amazing Grace of sometimes hearing the Spirit singing through my imperfect writing
Come, Lord Jesus, Come and Be Born in my Heart 2021
I feel new.
It’s really sort of weird and funny at eighty-four. But it feels delightful, like a wonderful blessing, though even a tad scary, since it’s a little like being in first grade again. I know the challenges to the new me will come and have to be responded to in new ways. But meanwhile, I am just dancing in my heart with happiness.
I feel more “whole” than I ever remember feeling.
Or course I still need taller people to reach high things. I still need stronger people to pull down heavy boxes. I still need my youngest, Tommy, to rescue me from the insanity of dealing with Infinity/Comcast. I still needed all five of my wonderful kids to replace my ancient computer. I’m blessed that my eldest, Chris lives near me and brings me meds when I’m sick and yummy food from his wife Molly. I still need Steve to come visit from Atlanta and listen to my life story, the good and the bad of it, and to write a list of simplified short cuts for me to use on the computer. (And sneakily pay for a new Microsoft Windows for me.) I still delight in my weekly Face Time call from my Mike and his Patrick in Cambodia. I am also grateful for daughter Julie’s wonderful notes affirming me and that she and Scott have invited me along on an eight day visit in Michigan with my great-grandchildren at Christmas. And I’m grateful to grandson Josh and his amazing Paula, who not only send me videos and photos of my three youngest great-grandchildren, but are including me in their Christmas. And thank God for granddaughter, Carmen, who checked out my tires and warned me that I needed four new ones right away. I still need my friend Rachel, who affirms me in writing, so when I lose my sense of well being, I can read and remember.
And I still need my friend Jenny who can laugh with me at our shared old lady humiliations. The list goes on and on.
But something inside me shifted and either I finally don’t feel so inadequate or I’ve simply accepted the hand I was dealt and can laugh at the recurring Three Stooges Act that I regularly play out. Whatever it is, my underlying fear of being inadequate for whatever life requires that has haunted me for most of my life, seems to have been put at bay, a least for now.
I think this is this year’s answer to my Advent prayer, “Come, Lord Jesus. Come and be born in my heart.” Another Christmas healing like my “Dirty Sock Under the Christmas Tree.” What a wonderful God we have. I highly recommend praying that prayer and then waiting and watching for the answer. Some years, I haven’t recognized it, but many years I have. Pray it. Wait for it. Watch for it.
I am praying for blessings for you who read this post during this season of celebration of God’s unconditional Love expressed in Jesus. Merry Christmas to you all.
Come AS a Little Child: To Pray or Not to Pray Chapter 11
Many, probably all, people experience miracles large and small. Some don’t expect them, so miss their significance and others are hesitant to speak of them. Humanity has come to either reject what we don’t understand or to only connect miracles with “saints or the delusional.” And we all know deep down that we’re not saints.
After my experience of the love of God expressed in Jesus, I wondered why I was having so many and such a variety of them. Some of the major ones were to major heartbreaking problems, but many were just little boosts over tiny bumps in the road of my daily life.
When I encouraged my children, aged 8, 6, 5 and 4 to ask Jesus to be their Savior and Lord, they had not been going to church or Sunday School. Their responses were unique to each of their personalities, but not based on being taught much about God or Jesus other than His love. In writing about these, it brought alive for me Jesus stressing coming to the Lord as a child.
I have become convinced that the reason I experienced things even the other “born again” Christians did not, was because of having thrown out everything I had been taught in church and by the society around me, I was pretty much coming as a child without preconceived notions. When I read the Bible while I was questioning everything, I realized I had never heard Christians talk about personal miracles, only ones connected to extremely holy people who lived long ago and far away. When I began to devour Scripture like a starving person after my conversion, I went from believing nothing, to believing everything. I came with an open mind and heart like a child.
I have come to see that each generation is to some extent limited by what we are taught when young by authority figures. Even those, who like me question, are still limited by what we have absorbed from the culture of our times.
A lot of my spiritual journey has involved letting go of preconceived ideas. At the age of eighty-four I am still having to do that. It’s scary to realize that no person or group knows all the truth and believes nothing but the truth even with the help of God. We are simply not equal to God. And not only is God not finished teaching us yet, but God is not finished teaching humanity yet.
An eye opener to me was becoming aware of the pattern of growth in Jesus from when he was a brilliant twelve-year old, but still emotionally immature so needing his mother’s guidance in learning to consider others’ feelings. The Scriptures say he went home with his parents and GREW in truth and holiness. Then at thirty he needs a push from his mother to make the leap from his comfort zone into his calling to a whole other level of ministry….miracles. Jesus then still believes his call is only to God’s chosen, the Jews. But he is challenged not only by an unclean woman and heretics, but by a soldier of the oppressive conquerors to out of the kindness of his heart, include them in his kingdom of the Love of God. He comes to understand that his call is not about political freedom, but spiritual freedom. He slowly and with natural human reluctance recognizes that he will not be a conquering hero, but a rejected vulnerable scapegoat for even those who kill him. And he tells his disciples who depend on him for faith for miracles, that he must leave, so they will experience the spirit of God within them to also do what he has done and will do. And finally, on the cross he makes the leap from “Why have you forsaken me?” to “Your will, not mine” Growth in truth and holiness takes a life time. And a lot of it involves letting go of some of the beliefs that make us feel most secure. And ultimately it is the challenge of, “Your will, not mine.”
