Recently in a class someone questioned the Ascension, which to me questions the Resurrection. I remembered a brilliant Scripture professor priest who was one of the consultants on Scripture at Vatican II saying that for him belief in the Resurrection was a crucial part of faith.  I remember saying it wasn’t for me, but not actually being aware of why it wasn’t.  Today, I realized that my Conversion experience of both the unconditional Love of God and my several experiences of an awareness of an actual presence that fleshed out that Love that I assumed was Jesus pretty much makes the Apostles experience of the resurrected Jesus believable for me.  I’ve had over 2000 hours of classes in Scripture and Theology from Catholic, Methodist, and Episcopalian sources, many of them college courses.  Most of them were after studying Scripture on my own and confirmed the understandings and insights I had from devouring the Scriptures daily after my conversion.  People who are very logical and more or less trust only what they can see and touch are still good Christians like the Apostle Thomas. When the other Apostles couldn’t deal with the warning Jesus gave them about His suffering coming in Jerusalem, Thomas recognized it was true and knew it probably meant suffering for all of them but he was still willing to go and maybe even die with Jesus.  That was Love with a capital L. And Scripture says, “There is Faith, Hope, and Love. And the greatest of these is Love.” Perhaps some of us are more like Peter, easily frightened and flakey on the courage part, so we need to experience His presence as a saving grace when we are sinking in the stormy waters of life. I am and always have been a “wus.” I belong to the Church of Devout Cowardice!  And though for a couple of decades I have not experienced that presence that gave me assurance, the memory of them remains strong and real to me.  I love science and believe in things like evolution and consider a lot of Scripture metaphorical rather than literal. Since I believe that truth is not the same as fact, metaphorical truth is actually more important to me.  My experiences have been such grace for me, that they have brought me through some hard and even dark times. I still get angry with God and argue with Him. But since I can often see God in the timing in my life and since I have felt the presence of Jesus several times, I don’t doubt that Love anymore.