I have been experiencing increasing issues with memory.  So far, none dangerous, mostly losing names and words. But it is quickly becoming alarming. Quite a few of my friends who are even ten years younger than I am are also having to cope with loss of memory issues.

When I was recently talking to my primary care doctor after passing a very short memory test that said I was average for people my age with a college degree, he said that there is new help for dementia if caught early enough. But Vanderbilt is the only hospital in our area to have the type of MRI equipment to accurately measure white matter brain shrinkage. And the new treatments are only effective in the early stages. Getting the test has to be done through a neurologist, so I have an appointment soon.

Interestingly, I also met a man at the doctor’s office who is planning to start a group that works with these issues, both with those having them and those who are caregivers. Unfortunately, he had been injured in an accident and is in St. Thomas physical therapy hospital right now. But he will let me know when he gets the program going.

At this point in my journey, I could still be some help with it and perhaps get help from it.

I’ve have spent quite a bit of time with people with Alzheimer’s and dementia. My mother died by inches over fourteen years with Alzheimer’s. Afterward I spent several years taking a friend out to lunch, to places like Cheekwood and even shopping when she was in a nursing home with dementia. She did not remember most of her life, even often being anxious because she thought she needed to go to her mother’s funeral. She spoke very little. But eventually she went to live with a caregiver next to her daughter’s house and began to go back to playing and winning at Tournament Bridge! She read voraciously and was able to converse again. When I was visiting her in the nursing home I began to also give a devotional and took musician friends to play the piano or guitar. While I was giving my devotional all the people looked comatose, but when we started playing the music for the old hymns they resurrected and sang every word from memory.

 I am now visiting another friend who is at a nursing home suffering from dementia. I have seen her regain a lot of mental acuity through help taking up her painting again and spending time with a volunteer who works with several people.  Recently, I was sick for several months while the volunteer was having to deal with family issues and she has lost ground again. I also noticed that when she doesn’t have visitors, she looks unkempt and ill. I think it is very important to have someone from outside visiting frequently enough that the caregivers don’t neglect them.

I admit that when my doctor said that I do not have any signs of dangerous health issues at eighty-seven so probably will live quite a bit longer, I got depressed. I do not want to outlive my somewhat scatty, but still useful brain!

The program for dementia patients and caregivers will be at Cumberland Presbyterian Church in Dickson. I have been attending First Presbyterian for about twenty-five years. It is very liberal politically and growing phenomenally from people leaving the conservative churches. But we are currently understandably focused on younger people with children and those with issues the conservatives are uncomfortable with.

I am becoming aware that liberals take up big issues like gays, the homeless, and the environment. But the conservatives are focused on those that touch people they know and understand. Perhaps luckily for me, I may be able to be a part of both worlds.

My age group under a conservative pastor at First Presbyterian took an active part in caring for those older than us in past years. We called them, visited them, took them not only to doctors, but also shopping and out to lunch. We even took turns staying with them in the hospital when they were dying and helping them stay mentally active when in rehab and taking them home and helping them get organized when they got home. We also took over the leadership in our women’s group. At this point our group is doing sort of a one on one caregiving with each other. But more and more we all are needing some help and our women’s group needs younger leadership to help us stay a functioning helpful group with a ministry to those less fortunate.

I realize that our younger career women, who are now finally retired, are enjoying the hard-earned delights of free time. But the care of the elderly is becoming a growing problem since medical science is still far better at keeping us alive than alert and physically functional. And while Jesus said to take care of the poor, he included widows. I don’t know whether the women outlived the men in Jesus’ day, but today it’s a reality. While our culture isn’t AS hard for older woman living alone, it more or less simply writes us off.

I am hoping to be an active part of both helping and being helped soon by the new program at the beautiful Cumberland Presbyterian Church that my husband designed.  So please pray for the recovery of the man who will be starting the program. His name is Tommy.