This is the heart of my memoir I have been putting together.                                                         

My story is about discovering Jesus, who is the Love of God fleshed out for us. It’s about how Jesus and God have shown up for me like the calvary in Westerns. And how their love for me is not because of me, but because that’s what God is, Love.  It’s a Love with no small print and it’s for everyone, no exceptions.                                                                             I did not deserve God’s love. In fact, I didn’t believe in God and thought Jesus sounded like a kind but delusional man. I still don’t deserve God’s Love, because Love is not something we can earn. Period. So quit trying. Just accept it. Then absolutely float in it until you absorb it. Because it can heal you, teach and change you, and use you to give others a taste of the kingdom of the Love of God.                                              One of my responses to my experience of the Love of God fleshed out in Jesus was to sing “Jesus loves me” unabashedly like a child. And I wanted to tell everyone I met, “Jesus loves us, both you and me. No matter who we are or how broken we are, we are known from the inside out and loved anyway. And we are all children to God. We think we know so much, but in the big scheme of things, we haven’t got a clue. Not even is we’re the greatest scientist ever known or have learned all the Scriptures by heart. We still would not have a clue.

But as we encounter that tender love in the blessings and coincidences in our lives, we can begin to take time to quietly savor that love and let its gentle touch heal our wounds and free us to forgive ourselves and then to celebrate that forgiveness by letting it flow out to others.

When the hard times come to stretch us and we wonder where the loving God of Jesus is, the challenge becomes to persevere through our doubts and fears, not to deny them, but to wait for glimpses of God’s Love even in them. Which brings the grace to grow even closer to God in our suffering. Along the journey we will begin to feel loved enough to recognize parts of ourselves that we haven’t faced. And as we open to God’s Love even in our shame, those parts are healed and we become free of their control. Sometimes we have experiences of God’s slightly warped sense of humor and discover how humility frees us. This is all about the difference between secondhand religion and a relationship.