Category Archives: The Spiritual Journey to Wholeness.
Mind Blowing, Healing, Life Changing Love
This is the heart of my memoir I have been putting together.
My story is about discovering Jesus, who is the Love of God fleshed out for us. It’s about how Jesus and God have shown up for me like the calvary in Westerns. And how their love for me is not because of me, but because that’s what God is, Love. It’s a Love with no small print and it’s for everyone, no exceptions. I did not deserve God’s love. In fact, I didn’t believe in God and thought Jesus sounded like a kind but delusional man. I still don’t deserve God’s Love, because Love is not something we can earn. Period. So quit trying. Just accept it. Then absolutely float in it until you absorb it. Because it can heal you, teach and change you, and use you to give others a taste of the kingdom of the Love of God. One of my responses to my experience of the Love of God fleshed out in Jesus was to sing “Jesus loves me” unabashedly like a child. And I wanted to tell everyone I met, “Jesus loves us, both you and me. No matter who we are or how broken we are, we are known from the inside out and loved anyway. And we are all children to God. We think we know so much, but in the big scheme of things, we haven’t got a clue. Not even is we’re the greatest scientist ever known or have learned all the Scriptures by heart. We still would not have a clue.
But as we encounter that tender love in the blessings and coincidences in our lives, we can begin to take time to quietly savor that love and let its gentle touch heal our wounds and free us to forgive ourselves and then to celebrate that forgiveness by letting it flow out to others.
When the hard times come to stretch us and we wonder where the loving God of Jesus is, the challenge becomes to persevere through our doubts and fears, not to deny them, but to wait for glimpses of God’s Love even in them. Which brings the grace to grow even closer to God in our suffering. Along the journey we will begin to feel loved enough to recognize parts of ourselves that we haven’t faced. And as we open to God’s Love even in our shame, those parts are healed and we become free of their control. Sometimes we have experiences of God’s slightly warped sense of humor and discover how humility frees us. This is all about the difference between secondhand religion and a relationship.
Healing
Healing Power and the Church
Father Richard critiques how, even within Christianity, we doubt the healing power of the gospel:
When religion is not about healing, it really doesn’t have much to offer people in this life. Many have called it “carrot on the stick” theology or, as my friend Brian McLaren says, we made the gospel largely into “an evacuation plan for the next world.” If we don’t understand the need and desire for healing, then salvation (salus, or healing) becomes a matter of hoping for some delayed gratification. We desperately need healing for groups, institutions, marriages, the wounds of war, violence, racism, and the endless social problems in which we are drowning today. But we won’t know how to heal if we don’t learn the skills at ground zero: the individual human heart.
For much of its history following CE 313 when Christianity became the imperial religion of the Roman Empire, the church’s concern was not healing, but rather maintaining social and church order: the doling out of graces and indulgences (as if that were possible); granting dispensations, annulments, and absolutions, along with the appropriate penalties; keeping people in first marriages at all costs, instead of seeing marriage itself as an arena for growth, forgiveness, and transformation for wife, husband, children, and the whole extended family, and beyond. In general, we tried to resolve issues of the soul and the Spirit by juridical means, which seldom works.
We’ve largely lost the very word healing in mainline Christian churches. Around the time I entered into ministry, there was a resurgence in the notion of healing prayer and healing services. Many Catholics thought, “Well, this must come from the Protestants; we’re not into healing!” And of course, they were right! Many Catholics didn’t expect to really become healed people in an inner or outer way. As priests, we felt our job was to absolve sin rather than help people to grow and heal. “Get rid of the contaminating element,” as it were, rather than “Learn what you can about yourself and God because of this conflict, pain, or suffering.” Those are two very different paths. In the four Gospels, Jesus did two things over and over again: he preached and he healed. We did a lot of preaching, but not too much healing. We didn’t know how.
I’m convinced that if preaching doesn’t effect some level of healing or transformation in the listener, then it’s not even the gospel being preached. Healing is the simplest criterion of preaching the word that I can imagine. The truth heals and expands us in its very hearing: “The truth will make you free” (John 8:32). It allows and presses us to reconfigure the world with plenty of room for gentleness and peace for ourselves, and for those around us. Only whole people can imagine or call forth a more whole world.
Empathy, the Key to Love
No one has all the truth and nothing but the truth even with the Holy Spirit. That would make us equal to God and that’s what in the creation story got Adam and Even into big trouble from the beginning. We are physically vulnerable and sentient creatures desperately wanting the safety of power. And knowledge is power. And power almost always corrupts and get’s misused. Jesus had knowledge and power! He could have used it for himself or just his own people. What did Jesus have that made him use it differently.
He had empathy.
When foreigners, sinners, turncoat Jewish tax collectors, the lepers of his time society, and even the enemy Roman soldier came to him in need, he saw them as fellow human beings, fragile, imperfect, frightened and in pain. Ultimately he even saw the self-righteous religious leaders who got him tortured and killed with empathy.
“Father, forgive them. They know not what they do.”
This came even after the terror of foreseeing his own suffering made him sweat blood and plead for there being an easier way.
Acceptance came not through faith, but through empathy which frees us to love the unlovable. It freed him to love even his best friends who denied and abandoned him. Jesus had empathy, the gift of understanding even those without empathy. He understood those different from him both inside and outside.
Empathy for others involves a dying to self, to the limits of our own ways of seeing and understanding, to our own values and way of being in the world. Empathy frees us to understand not just those like us, but even those whose ways of seeing and being in the world are totally different from ours.
Empathy doesn’t make us see the world the same way, but it allows us to understand and forgive and to care.
And that is LOVE.
For All God’s Beloved Imperfect Children
Releasing Any Need for Perfection
Drawing on personal experience, Father Richard offers an encouraging reminder that we don’t need to be perfect in order to be loved and accepted by God.
We don’t come to God by doing it right. Please believe me on this. We come to God by doing it wrong. Any guide of souls knows this to be true. If we come to God by being perfect, no one is going to come to God. This absolutely levels the playing field. Our failures open our hearts of stone and move our rigid mind space toward understanding and patience. It’s in doing it wrong, making mistakes, being rejected, and experiencing pain that we are led to total reliance upon God. I wish it weren’t true, but all I know at this point in my journey is that God has let me do just about everything wrong, so I could fully experience how God can do everything so utterly right.
I believe this is why Christianity has as its central symbol of transformation a naked, bleeding man who is the picture of failing, losing, and dying, yet who is really winning—and revealing the secret pattern to those who will join him there. Everyone wins because, if we’re honest, the one thing we all have in common is weakness and powerlessness in at least one—though usually many—areas of our lives. There’s a broken, wounded part inside each of us. [1]
In the Everything Belongs podcast, Father Richard explains how he has been freed from his tendency to focus on “what’s wrong” with himself, others, and the world:
As a perfectionist by nature, accepting that things aren’t perfect has been at the center of my life’s inner struggle. I’m always seeing the wrong of everything. At the same time, I haven’t wanted to let “what’s wrong” drive the show—in myself and others. I want to be perfect, and I want other people to be perfect—but of course, the only perfection available to us is the ability to embrace the imperfect.
What I like to call “holy dissatisfaction” gave me my instinct for reform, but it also chewed me up. In the first half of my life, I was constantly thinking, “It’s not supposed to be that way!” I was constantly noticing, “That isn’t it! That isn’t it!” It’s only in the second half of my life that I am finally able to live in the holy tension of accepting that a “remnant” or “critical mass” is enough. Scattered in each group are always a few who get it, a few who live and love the gospel. When that became enough, and even more than enough (even in myself), I was free. So, this scriptural image of “remnant” or “yeast”—to use Jesus’ words—is very important for me and my own liberation. If I’m going to wait for the reign of God to be fully realized before I can be happy, I’m never going to be happy.
Eileen:
Our tendency to make “image” our God is a spiritual issue. Years ago becoming aware of my weakness of envy helped me recognize that I use sarcastic humor to “cut people I envy down to my size.” We all possess natural strengths and talents, as well as corresponding weaknesses. We naturally want others to admire our strenghts and overlook our weaknesses. Pointing out others’ weaknesses through sarcasm is an attempt to level the playing field.
Working with a Spiritual director many years ago made we aware of my unrecognized feelings of inferiority and attempts to bring others down to my level with cutting humor. Recognizing and accepting areas that I felt weak in helped me start accepting my humanity and quit trying to “cut people down to my size.” But later in life, having had to admit to failures to use my own gifts effectively, I had to recognize that I had resurrected that leveling weapon and was using it on people with similar personalities and talents to mine who had used them more effectively. Facing our inborn weaknesses is one thing. Facing our failure to effectively use our gifts for the benefit of others is a much harder challenge.
Father Richard Rohr writes of “the integration of the negative.” Rather than insisting that God values perfection or an idealized morality, Francis of Assisi intuited, through the example of Jesus’ life and death, that God could be found in all things, even those our religion and culture urge us to reject. Father Richard writes:
I suppose there is no more counterintuitive spiritual idea than the possibility that God might actually use and find necessary what we fear, avoid, deny, and deem unworthy. This is what I mean by the “integration of the negative.” Yet I believe this is the core of Jesus’ revolutionary good news, the apostle Paul’s deep experience, and the central insight that Francis and Clare of Assisi lived out with such simple elegance.
The integration of the negative still has the power to create “people who are turning the whole world upside down” as was said of early Christians (see Acts 17:6). Today, some therapists call this pattern of admitting our shortcomings and failures “embracing our shadow.” Such surrendering of superiority, or even a need for superiority, is central to any authentic enlightenment. Without it, we are misguided ourselves and poor guides for others.
Francis and Clare made what most would call the negative or disadvantage shimmer and shine by their delight in what the rest of us ordinarily oppose, deny, and fear: things like being insignificant, poor, outside systems of power and status, or weakness in any form. Francis generally referred to these conditions as minoritas. This is a different world than most of us choose to live in. We all seem invariably to want to join the majority and to be admired. Francis and Clare instead made a preemptive strike at both life and death, offering a voluntary assent to full reality in all its tragic wonder. They made a loving bow to the very things that defeat, scare, and embitter most of us, such as poverty, powerlessness, imperfection, and being ridiculed.
I personally think that honesty about ourselves and all of reality is the way that God makes grace totally free and universally available. We all find our lives eventually dragged into opposition, problems, “the negatives” of sin, failure, betrayal, gossip, fear, hurt, disease, etc., and especially the ultimate negation: death itself. Good spirituality should utterly prepare us for that instead of teaching us high-level denial or pretense.
Needing a ladder to climb only appeals to our egotistical consciousness and our need to win or be right, which is not really holiness at all—although it has been a common counterfeit for holiness in much of Christian history. The Ten Commandments are about creating social order (a good thing), but the eight Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3–12) of Jesus are all about incorporating what seems like disorder (a negative),which promotes a much better and different level of consciousness. ( Richard Rohr)
Recognizing our failures and knowing that God has already forgiven us is the grace for forgiving ourselves. And that can free us to grow and even change. (Eileen)
The “Guts” of my Faith
Trying to kind of sum up my faith and understanding of the spiritual in life.
Is there something/someone worth calling God? Yes! Why do I believe this? Because I’ve experienced unexplainable timing miracles over and over in my life and because when I separated Jesus from any religion, it became clear that Jesus fleshed out these things: 1. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE; 2. that we ALL are loved: and we are ALL created and called to love one another(even our enemy) just as WE are loved. 3. God’s essence (Spirit) is in everything and everyone if we are open to it. We are an essential part of the whole, but we individually are not equal to the whole. 4. Life, both as individuals and as humanity, is a school for the spiritual journey of evolution in loving, and we are learning to love still on the day we die. 5. We are not all dealt the same hand, so it is impossible to judge how well anyone is playing their hand. Only God knows that. 6. No person or group has all the truth and nothing but the truth. 7. We are part of God and God is part of us, but we are not the whole. 8.The Scriptures are letters from God written by people in earlier and more primitive cultures, but we hear God through the Scriptures with the understanding of the culture we are living in. with its differences AND its limits. 9.Truth and fact are not the same. Some Scriptures teach truth through metaphorical stories. The details are not facts, but the truth they are illustrating is real. 10. Jesus FLESHED out not only the Love of God for all humanity, but also the stages of growing into Loving as God Loves. His WAY is our WAY. He is the witness that we unfinished human beings can grow from the selfishness of an infant’s needs to the freedom to Love others more than ourselves, even those who seem to be our enemies, but who play a crucial part in our growing free to Love. 11. We not only can love our enemy, but choose to trust God when we feel abandoned just as Jesus ultimately did on his cross. 12.This life is not all there is. 13. Jesus as a person in History is not the only way to learning to love as God loves. But Jesus has definitely been my personal way, so I that is what I have to share.
At 87 I am still on my personal journey so may understand more tomorrow, but will not know it all in this life, just my God given personal potential through the grace of being loved. I pray for people, even those connected to cars broken down on the highway this way: “God, be with that person and their loved ones. Give them the grace they need physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to become the person you created them to be. I ask this in Jesus’ name, who fleshed our Your love for us. Amen.”
We Come Like the Shepherds to Jesus
What does the prayer “Jesus, come and be born in my heart?” imply?
Who first witnessed His coming? Shepherds…….not Kings. If we try to imagine being one of them, what would we be like? Poor obviously, politically powerless, without social status, accepting of physical hardship, called to put the wellbeing of defenseless sheep ahead of our own comfort, but being part of a band of brothers who share this vulnerability and commitment, and who one night are suddenly awestruck by a “charged” atmosphere full of significance around a vulnerable baby and its tired, worried, helpless parents. Those are the hearts that are open to Jesus. When we pray, “Come Lord Jesus, be born in our hearts,” we admit our vulnerability, our neediness, our call to protect and support God’s helpless ones, and our dependency on mutual support. To me this prayer describes both our own situation and our call together through openness to Jesus, as both our Savior and Lord. This is the heart of religion. This is Spirituality. And this is the call of the church. Are we listening?
Jim Palmer’s “What I Do NOT Believe” and Eileen Noman’s “Yes! I Agree! But What I DO Believe, Because I Have Experienced IT and It Is Life Changing.’
Jim Palmer
“I can’t believe in a “God” who condemns people to eternal conscious torment for not believing the correct theology, which is based upon the interpretation of an ancient book that predates modern science.
I can’t believe in a “Gospel” that claims the human species was afflicted with a genetic sinful condition, originating and passed down from a literal Adam and Eve as the primordial parents of all humankind.
I can’t believe that a woman was directly impregnated by God in order to give birth to a sinless child who would qualify for the perfect human sacrifice to complete God’s salvation plan for humankind.
I can’t believe that men are divinely anointed with special qualities, skills and wisdom that women do not have, which allows men to hold positions of leadership and authority in the church, but not women.
I can’t believe that the Bible, which is an assortment of chosen ancient writings that have been edited several times and approved by church councils out of political expedience, should be considered the infallible, binding, and only truth from God to humankind.
I can’t believe that the only hope for our world is that one day Jesus will descend from the sky on a white horse to claim his own and leave the rest behind for tribulation and suffering.
I can’t believe these things because they all violate rational thinking and the law of love.”
Jim Palmer , Notes from (Over) the Edge
Eileen Norman
I too don’t believe those things. I have also been on a spiritual journey that freed me from those, but I opened my heart to “God’s” (whatever “God” is) unconditional Love fleshed out in the Spiritual Journey of the person Jesus , who grew in understanding and empathy until he was able to Love not just the neighbor like himself, but all others, including his best friends who abandoned him, and even the “religious” leaders that had him tortured and killed. “Father, forgive them. They know not what they do.” Life is a journey from the neediness of a baby to the ability to love even our enemies. Ultimately, we are all one, whatever we do to anyone, we do to all. But there is a reality of a “force” of unconditional Love that is grace for the journey when we can be open to. It is both outside us and inside us. And though I experienced that grace/Love fleshed out in the person of Jesus, I do not believe God’s Love only comes through Jesus. Most of the prophets that began any religion said the same thing: We are all one. And the journey from the selfishness of need to the freedom to Love is what it is all about.
Same Song…Hoping if I Sing it Enough It Will be Heard and Understood
We are born innocent, but unfinished. We are born totally needy. Our spiritual journey is from need to being able to love an other or others more than ourselves. That was the WAY of Jesus. You can see him grow in understanding and in capacity for love in the Scriptures. His potential was to be perfect in love. We are born with different potentials….not necessarily going to be the same or perfect, but just fulfilling our personal potential for love. My experience has been that my last years have been a time of recognizing my journey from need to love and recognizing how slow it has been and that since I’m still here, I must still need to grow in my capacity for loving others more than myself. And the reality is that people who are different from us are harder to love up close than in theory. And they are having the same challenge!
One of the keys to loving is recognizing we didn’t get a choice about our unfinished personality or upbringing and neither did others. We may disagree strongly and work to bring about our view of a better world, but we cannot judge people as stupid or evil., they are playing the hand they were dealt the best they know how and judging them makes it impossible to ever learn how to work together using a balance of our natural inborn strengths..
Ignorance: The Human Condition
Reflections on Facing our Failures and Ignorance.
I have been sharing some of my struggles with facing particular failures to communicate my love. When I am able to forgive myself for being just a normal flawed human being, I experience a wonderful peace and a moment of sensing the unconditional love of God. This frees me to be real. Matt in our Sunday School class experiences that in his journey through AA. Ever since my conversion at thirty from agnosticism to Jesus as a source of grace for my spiritual journey, I’ve suspected that AA is closer to the early church experience than today’s Christian religions.
I do not agree completely with any denomination, but I may change in my few years left, because it is a spiritual journey with stages of spiritual growth all along the way. I don’t think anyone dies as a perfect human being, but I think we may make it to our personal best. And personal best probably varies greatly between us. This is why we CANNOT judge, because we don’t KNOW the hand anyone is dealt or how a particular life has affected them. We can be against what they do, but we can not write them off as stupid or evil. They may be smart at practical things, but not have the type of mind it takes to see the big picture, to understand those different from them, or worry about a future they have not yet witnessed. Some people may be very logical and not in touch with their own feelings, so they unwittingly tramp on ours. And if we tend to live in feeling mode, we may think they are being intentionally cruel. Ignorance is not the same as stupidity. And we are all ignorant.
Even those of us that consider ourselves intelligent and have minds that can make connections and visualize possibilities are ignorant. Most of us can not fix car engines or make our own clothes, unless that is what our parents emphasized and taught us.
Our politics are controlled by our personal way of being in the world at birth unless our significant others as children were different from us and remain our mentors. With enough LOVING challenges by those whose love we trust, we CAN change, but it’s part of our personal journey and may only happen late in life.
We can only influence those different from us with enough love that it can overcome their fear of change. That usually takes a one-on-one loving close relationship.
I got scholarships to several prestigious colleges. I chose Rice University for practical reasons. Everyone was on a full scholarship there, but at that time it was predominantly a school for scientists and engineers. I hated it! (Except that there were four boys for every girl, and I had gone to an all-girls high school!) I married out with some poor grades. I returned to college in my thirties, majoring in psychology which had changed a great deal by then, and I graduated summa cum laude. (God is in the timing.) My actual knowledge is mostly in what I am naturally good at. That is such a tiny percentage of all possible knowledge that my ignorance is humongously greater than my knowledge. This was also true for Einstein! It’s true for everyone though each generation adds to knowledge. (Not necessarily to wisdom!)
We are all ignorant. Some are considered smart and some intelligent. These are different and we need both. When we consider people stupid and show it and make them feel that way, there is no hope of sharing our different gifts across the gap.
Language is a big part of the problem. And I don’t mean the language of different countries.
I used to argue with my psychology professors about the point of creating/using language that was unique to our field. If psychology was a hope for understanding ourselves and each other, it was counterproductive to make it “technical” and limited to professionals in the field.
One of the kindest, most delightful people I ever knew grew up poor and got pregnant and dropped out of school at 15. She was competent and talented in both practical things and things of visual beauty in life. But after she joined a small Episcopalian church of intellectuals, she would often be sad, because much of the language used in Sunday School was unfamiliar to her. It made her feel stupid, so she didn’t ask what words meant. Often “intellectuals” speak their own language and consider anyone who doesn’t understand it as “stupid.” This woman was not only NOT stupid, she was a person in touch with her feelings who had been poor growing up and she became the “heart” of that church starting clothing drives for the poor and a church flower garden and often fixing delicious dinners for the whole church.
Some of the “saints‘ among us may not understand our language, won’t benefit from our ability to recognize dangers and the solutions to future problems.
As “intellectuals” we may care about immigrants who don’t speak our language, but not recognize how we are alienating our own people with our versions of everyday English.
Our problems are much more complex than just this issue, but I think this is the one we don’t recognize.
