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A Deep Well Within
Contemplative Nonconformity
There is a really deep well inside me. And in it dwells God. Sometimes I am there, too…. Dear God, these are anxious times…. We must help You to help ourselves. And that is all we can manage these days and also all that really matters: that we safeguard that little piece of You, God, in ourselves.
—Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted Life
Richard Rohr turns to Scripture and contemplation in the face of collective suffering. In the wisdom of the Psalms, we read: In God alone is my soul at rest.
God is the source of my hope.
In God I find shelter, my rock, and my safety.
—Psalm 62:5–6
What could it mean to find rest like this in a world such as ours? Every day more and more people face the catastrophe of extreme weather. The neurotic news cycle is increasingly driven by words and deeds that incite hatred, sow discord, and amplify chaos. There is no guarantee of the future in an economy designed to protect the rich and powerful at the expense of far too many people subsisting at society’s margins. It’s no wonder the mental and emotional health of so many people in the USA is in tangible decline! We have wholesale abandoned any sense of truth, objectivity, science, or religion in civil conversation; we now recognize we’re living with the catastrophic results of several centuries of what philosophers call nihilism (nothing means anything; no universal patterns exist). Somehow our occupation and vocation as believers must be to first restore the Divine Center by holding it and fully occupying it ourselves. If contemplation means anything, it means that we can “safeguard that little piece of You, God,” as Etty Hillesum describes. What other power do we have now? All else is tearing us apart, inside and out. We cannot abide in such a place for any length of time or it will become our prison. God cannot abide with us in a place of fear.
God cannot abide with us in a place of ill will or hatred.
God cannot abide with us inside a nonstop volley of claim and counterclaim.
God cannot abide with us in an endless flow of online punditry and analysis.
God cannot speak inside of so much angry noise and conscious deceit.
God cannot be born except in a womb of Love.
So offer God that womb. Contemplation can help stand watch at the door of your senses, so chaos cannot make its way into your soul. If we allow it for too long, it will become who we are, and we’ll no longer have natural access to the life-giving “really deep well” that Etty Hillesum returned to so often to find freedom. In this time, I suggest some form of public service, volunteerism, mystical reading from the masters, prayer—or, preferably, all of the above. You have much to gain now and nothing to lose. Nothing at all.
And the world—with you as a stable center—has nothing to lose.
And everything to gain.
Liberal and Conservative Christians: Together We Conquer What We Each Fear, but Divided We All Fall.
I worked with the MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator) for twenty years. No measuring of human personalities will be perfect, but this has played out both in my personal life and working with large groups of people enough to know it has some validity.
We are born incredibly different in the way our minds work, what we are good at, what they focus on, and those differences influence our choice of careers, mates, hobbies, and politics. Our family of origin will influence these more strongly for some personalities than others.
We did not get a vote. There are both strengths and weaknesses to every personality type.
God made us this way for a reason. Both ways are needed for balance and effectiveness and learning to love across our differences is what Jesus was about.
Jesus raised the bar with his willingness to love those different from him including the enemy soldier and to even forgive those that could not understand and accept that, so crucified him.
The root of all evil is fear. And NO ONE is immune to fear. What we fear is different because of our inborn personality differences. We DID NOT get a vote on this.
Throughout history men who use power to dull their human fears have abused it.
They are still abusing it. And their strongest weapon is turning people against one another by playing on their fears.
They legitimize our fears to use them to divide and conquer us.
Sadly we are witnessing this right now in the best form of government humanity has developed. No system is perfect, because humanity is not perfect. But our Democratic government has been hijacked by the unbelievably rich who have no personal understanding or sympathy with those who have to struggle to just keep themselves and their families alive.
Because of our differing fears, we have enabled this.
Some people are born with minds that both question the status quo and look ahead to consequences from it. These minds worry about the planet and work to find solutions to the problems they see coming. They worry about people all over the planet, often more than the ones right in front of them. Their fears are about what affects all. And they don’t fear those different from them physically and culturally.
Others trust tradition and what they know firsthand. They are only truly comfortable with the familiar. They will literally lay down their lives for those they understand. They are incredibly kind, but afraid of the unfamiliar and different.
Our different fears control us and divide us. And they make us all vulnerable to the power hungry.
BOTH sides’ fears are legitimate. Both sides’ fears divide us and defeat us because we cannot understand the others’ and that way work to minimize the actual threats feared by each.
Nothing is perfect. There are no perfect solutions or protections from all of our varied, but legitimate fears. But unless we work together it simply isn’t going to matter, because we are ALL going to lose both our freedom and our planet.
A
The Challenges of Aging
I have been experiencing increasing issues with memory. So far, none dangerous, mostly losing names and words. But it is quickly becoming alarming. Quite a few of my friends who are even ten years younger than I am are also having to cope with loss of memory issues.
When I was recently talking to my primary care doctor after passing a very short memory test that said I was average for people my age with a college degree, he said that there is new help for dementia if caught early enough. But Vanderbilt is the only hospital in our area to have the type of MRI equipment to accurately measure white matter brain shrinkage. And the new treatments are only effective in the early stages. Getting the test has to be done through a neurologist, so I have an appointment soon.
Interestingly, I also met a man at the doctor’s office who is planning to start a group that works with these issues, both with those having them and those who are caregivers. Unfortunately, he had been injured in an accident and is in St. Thomas physical therapy hospital right now. But he will let me know when he gets the program going.
At this point in my journey, I could still be some help with it and perhaps get help from it.
I’ve have spent quite a bit of time with people with Alzheimer’s and dementia. My mother died by inches over fourteen years with Alzheimer’s. Afterward I spent several years taking a friend out to lunch, to places like Cheekwood and even shopping when she was in a nursing home with dementia. She did not remember most of her life, even often being anxious because she thought she needed to go to her mother’s funeral. She spoke very little. But eventually she went to live with a caregiver next to her daughter’s house and began to go back to playing and winning at Tournament Bridge! She read voraciously and was able to converse again. When I was visiting her in the nursing home I began to also give a devotional and took musician friends to play the piano or guitar. While I was giving my devotional all the people looked comatose, but when we started playing the music for the old hymns they resurrected and sang every word from memory.
I am now visiting another friend who is at a nursing home suffering from dementia. I have seen her regain a lot of mental acuity through help taking up her painting again and spending time with a volunteer who works with several people. Recently, I was sick for several months while the volunteer was having to deal with family issues and she has lost ground again. I also noticed that when she doesn’t have visitors, she looks unkempt and ill. I think it is very important to have someone from outside visiting frequently enough that the caregivers don’t neglect them.
I admit that when my doctor said that I do not have any signs of dangerous health issues at eighty-seven so probably will live quite a bit longer, I got depressed. I do not want to outlive my somewhat scatty, but still useful brain!
The program for dementia patients and caregivers will be at Cumberland Presbyterian Church in Dickson. I have been attending First Presbyterian for about twenty-five years. It is very liberal politically and growing phenomenally from people leaving the conservative churches. But we are currently understandably focused on younger people with children and those with issues the conservatives are uncomfortable with.
I am becoming aware that liberals take up big issues like gays, the homeless, and the environment. But the conservatives are focused on those that touch people they know and understand. Perhaps luckily for me, I may be able to be a part of both worlds.
My age group under a conservative pastor at First Presbyterian took an active part in caring for those older than us in past years. We called them, visited them, took them not only to doctors, but also shopping and out to lunch. We even took turns staying with them in the hospital when they were dying and helping them stay mentally active when in rehab and taking them home and helping them get organized when they got home. We also took over the leadership in our women’s group. At this point our group is doing sort of a one on one caregiving with each other. But more and more we all are needing some help and our women’s group needs younger leadership to help us stay a functioning helpful group with a ministry to those less fortunate.
I realize that our younger career women, who are now finally retired, are enjoying the hard-earned delights of free time. But the care of the elderly is becoming a growing problem since medical science is still far better at keeping us alive than alert and physically functional. And while Jesus said to take care of the poor, he included widows. I don’t know whether the women outlived the men in Jesus’ day, but today it’s a reality. While our culture isn’t AS hard for older woman living alone, it more or less simply writes us off.
I am hoping to be an active part of both helping and being helped soon by the new program at the beautiful Cumberland Presbyterian Church that my husband designed. So please pray for the recovery of the man who will be starting the program. His name is Tommy.
Today’s Prejudice against Age and the Spiritual
I’m struggling with being old and considered bereft of wisdom or knowledge that those who are younger value.
I guess I’ve always denied that my way of being in the world is not in step with the majority, so I should not expect very many people to “get” what I have to offer. I’m in a church that I totally agree with politically. But I also understand the differences in how other Christians respond to the world and Scriptures. The real problem is that almost none of us really “Get” the whole picture. As long as we see it as “either/or” we will never heal the body of Christ and make a grace filled difference in the world.
My personal weakness may be my strong need to feel like I’m making a difference.
I am losing the small ministries that I’ve had at my church that were what I felt were my God given talents of writing and speaking about God’s presence in our small lives. A few people have affirmed them, but many younger people no longer respect the wisdom of the old. They think we don’t understand the culture and norms of today. Some of us do and some don’t. It’s like a prejudice against any group; we clump everyone together in our assumptions. (I am also guilty of that!)
Perseverance has never been a virtue of mine, but perhaps I’m supposed to get free of my Extrovert’s need for affirmation. Maybe even my doing things for others has been mostly for that. But the physical support to others that we are stressing at First Pres, while certainly important, doesn’t seem to me to be more important than the spiritual. It often is short term, while the Spiritual is forever.
My doctor told me I am very healthy at eighty-seven and may live a lot longer. If I am not productive and making any difference, this does not seem like good news to me!
So, I appreciate prayers for discernment at this point in my life. There’s the possibility of my being part of a ministry to people experiencing or dealing with others who are experiencing dementia. This is something I have dealt with in my family and have supported friends who were and are struggling with. It is a ministry of another denomination that I differ with on some major political issues but am comfortable with their spirituality on this issue.
Prophets
by Richard Rohr with commentary by Eileen Norman
Prophets by Richard Rohr
Like most of us, the prophets started not only with judgmentalism and anger but also with a superiority complex of placing themselves above others. Then, they move from that anger and judgmentalism to a reordered awareness in which they become more like God: more patient like God, more forgiving like God, more loving like God.
There was a deep need, then and now, for someone who would call the people to return to God and to justice. Someone who would warn them, critique them, and reveal God’s heart to them. We call them prophets, and every religion needs them.
There are plenty of prophets among us now in every church and society, and it is vitally important that we listen to them, support them, and protect them. Often, they are not formally aligned with religion, yet they are deeply influenced by its deepest values.
Eileen
I like this, but I think the prophets become more loving by understanding why people struggle with their message, that it is from fear. I think the prophets knew the love of God, because they often had a firsthand experience of it. And only then were they freed to be humble, to recognize and admit that they too had limited understanding. Some people value the past, others live in the present moment, some are focused on the visible concrete world, others on people around them, and a few focus on possibilities both positive and negative in the future. All of these ways of being in the world are gifts from God and we didn’t get a vote.
We need ALL those gifts. The problem is twofold: we don’t understand that, and we react in fear of the differences. And fear leads to a struggle for power over the other ways of seeing and being in the world.
The gifts were made for balance, for learning from the past, for celebrating the present, for making the physical world work for all of us, for valuing all God’s human children, and for recognizing new possibilities both positive and negative of the future.
Somehow, soon, we must begin to value all the gifts of God and find a way to make them work together for the good of ALL. To stop pushing each other to extremes and taking turns using our power in ways that unbalance life on earth. It’s fast becoming a matter of survival of our planet and all that is on it, including ALL of us.
I Apologize by Old and Blessed
If you’re reading this two-hundred years from now and the globe is simmering from sauna-like heat and humidity, I apologize. If crops are facing challenges never seen in human history, I apologize. If the oceans are slowly meandering to the back yards of coastal homes, I apologize. If it’s difficult to plan outdoor activities because you’ve no idea what the weather is going to be like from one minute to the next, I apologize. If you live in a world where death rates are elevated no matter the advancements in medical technology, I apologize. If the gap between the haves and the have-nots has widened instead of contracting, I apologize. If history tells you that we were aware of what we should have done to give you a better inheritance, but we were too busy chasing money and too afraid of being woke, I apologize. My prayer is that you can fix the mess we gave you and that you will finally take the lessons history offered and make a better world. If you choose not to accept my apologies, I understand. I wish you Godspeed! I’m old and blessed…hope you
Civil Dialogue, the Key to Empathy
Empathy is tricky. It’s different from caring. We can care about people without a clue as to what is going on inside them. And it’s easier to have empathy for people who are like us, who respond the way we do to things or ideas or people and who share our culture and language. Extreme differences can make us ill at ease around others. The differences can be in looks, color, age, mental or physical ability, nationality, economic, cultural or even religious.
My mother grew up in the early 1900’s in Mississippi. There were only a few Catholics there and they Polish immigrants who all lived in one neighborhood. As a child she believed the nuns she saw when passing their school on a bus wore headdresses because they had horns.
Though some people are more interested and curious than afraid of differences, most are not. And negative experiences with a person different from us can make us nervous around all others like them.
Empathy comes easier with people who are most like us. Without time spent in intentional dialogue with those different from us, it is impossible to understand them enough to trust them or work together.
At this time in our own nation, we have become drastically alienated from people who only differ in their politics. And communication across that ravine has become almost impossible. So even with all our similarities it is impossible to have empathy for one another.
Without goodwill civil dialogue is impossible. Our language, our demeanor, our tone, misinformation, projections from our painful experiences build walls of fear and anger. We are like wounded porcupines unable to kiss and make up.
Both sides have lost perspective on what damage this is doing to America. Violence is becoming more and more common and even acceptable. Nobody wins in a civil war. More Americans were killed in our civil war than in all our other wars. We don’t see that if we don’t learn to work together for the good of all, we will self-destruct as a Nation. Get rid mental and verbal barbed wire and reach out.
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
by Max Ehrmann ©1927
Mirrors
Quite a few years ago I had to deal with the shock of realizing that I am a difficult person. I have worked on the high maintenance, unrealistic, side of me with a tiny bit of success, though there is always definitely the problem of backsliding. The upside of painful self-awareness is being able to love other imperfect, because of being human people even when they irritate me. This is a magical grace, because if frees me to see past flaws to the good in others. I admit that on any given day it’s a toss-up whether I can do this. But when I can remember and rest in the love of God for flawed me, it’s much easier. Particularly when what irritates me most is usually what I don’t face in myself.
